thing #256 that i hate about dating

okay, despite what the title may hint at, this post is not going to be solely devoted to bitching about the single life.  i just kinda liked the post title 🙂

so actually, this is a writeup about NYRR Club Night.  which as you all may know, is one of my favorite events, this being the 5th time I attended.  I’m always up for meeting others in the running community, and at an event like this, the atmosphere is actually a little more relaxed (unlike at a race where everyone’s out to get each other :-P)  Like last year’s event, it was held at the Hard Rock Cafe, but this time they were bringing back the post-awards ceremony dancing! 🙂  I was glad, I felt that was a better way for the clubs to mingle.  As I had mentioned last year-I felt the cocktail hour was more “find your teammates so you can sit together during the awards” than a chance to mingle with the other teams.  So thumbs up to NYRR for listening to our feedback!!

So contrary to what I just said, ther was actually some minor mingling going on during the cocktail hour/pre-awards.  I was hanging out with the other Flyers who attended, but I was able to say hi/catch up with friends from other teams too…while ever so often, looking at the flat screen TVs that showed a slideshow from the 2009 races to see if we could spot any Flyers (Lam-you were spotted!)

So…time for the awards ceremony.  As our men moved up to the “A” division in 2009, no award for them this year.  Our 50+/veteran women won 3rd place in their division…congrats ladies, I am sure you gals will be #1 in 2010! 🙂  And of course, watched all the individual age-group winners get their awards…as I helped with the awards process this year, not a lot of it was surprising to me 🙂  The ceremony ended with a pictorial “decade in review”…ahhh brought back memories.  And a couple of us came away with this with ideas to improve our own team’s awards…

Anyway, most of the other Flyers left right after the awards ceremony, but EF and SD stuck around…not surprising, they are the dancing king and queen of the Flyers 🙂  And let me tell you…I was definitely glad to have them around.  Here is the part that has some relevance to this post title.  I do go to these events with an open mind…not with the expectation that I will meet someone, but “you never know.”  But let me say, it is just disturbing how aggressive and “grabby” a few of the men were.  And that anyone considers it to be appropriate behavior.  And this isn’t the first time I’ve dealt with it…I remember a Jewish singles event where the same thing happened.  But I’ll tell you, this is one thing I truly hate about being single.  I mean, I don’t think I was “asking for it”, I wasn’t dressed overly slutty (if anything, I probably am more covered up than when I am running!)…it sorta ruined what should have been my favorite part of the evening.  I mean seriously…if someone’s body language signals that not interested, feeling uncomfortable…just stop it for godssakes!!

The music was good, but I kept having to excuse myself…to either say I needed to talk to someone, or get another drink…was actually a little bit of a relief when the night was over.  And guys-I know you are all not like that.  hell, one of my teammates met her boyfriend at Club Night a few years back and they are still together now.  I just seem to be a magnet for the wrong guys I guess.  Next year, if I don’t have a boyfriend, I will need to bring a bodyguard or something… 😛

Oh, and can you believe it, the NYRR photographer actually caught me in action on the dance floor…

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let’s play a love game, play a love game

it’s complicated and stupid
got my ass squeezed by sexy cupid
guess he wants to play, wants to play
a love game, a love game

(who knows, maybe Lady GaGa knows what she’s talking/singing about…)  I would be lying if I didn’t say I was happy that today is February 15th.  Meaning the most dreaded day of the year (and indeed complicated and stupid)  is behind me again…until next year.  And every year I say “next year will be different”…never is.   Of course, the everso lovely Facebook didn’t exactly help matters much, as the theme of the week was “change your profile picture to one of you and your significant other and tell how you got together.”  Or as one of my friends put it “Remind all your single friends how alone they are by showing us how happy and in love you all are in your profile pic…”  Yeah, thanks SO much, Facebook!!

I think I really started to hate Valentine’s Day back in 2001, when the Ex-Boyfriend emailed me on that day, and in the process was sorta bragging about how great things were for him-at a time where things were not going well for me. (like jeez, great timing…)  It takes a lot to make me cry at work…well congrats to him, he achieved that.  And I guess ever since then I’ve been reminded of that.  And for the record, I could care less about receiving actual gifts on February 14th.  Flowers eventually die.  Candy will just make me fat.  All I want is companionship…is that honestly too much to ask?  I know its hard to achieve…but can’t a girl believe?

So instead of sitting at home with a bottle of wine or going to some meet-market type Jewish singles event, I just went around the corner to my fave Mexican place and had a coupla margaritas while sitting at the bar and watching the Olympics.  Not exactly the ideal way to spend the evening, but I just didn’t feel like being alone at home.  And there was indeed a Jewish singles event that night but I really wasn’t up for it.  Oh, and I discovered that I really need to be banned from drunk texting and/or emailing on February 14th.  Think I need a breathalyzer for the CrackBerry…or something like Gmail’s “Mail Goggles” feature.  Anyway, sorry about that, “certain person.” 😉

Anyway, different topic…oh yeah, the Olympics.  Can’t say I am as emotionally invested in these games as I am for the Summer games, but still nice to watch.  And gotta love NBC and their spotty and/or tape-delayed coverage once again!  (Did they not learn anything from Beijing 2008?)  And poor Canada…between the techincal malfunction in the opening ceremonies and the not-so-winter-like weather…they’ve got their work cut out for them for the remainder of these games.

And speaking of winter weather, can Vancouver please take all the snow that we’re getting here in NY?  Seriously, they need it, we don’t want it-there, perfect solution.  I mean yeah, it was nice to have a shortened work day last Wednesday (our office closed early that day due to the weather) but enough is enough already…can you all tell that I’m not a winter person? 🙂

And thanks to everyone who voted in my poll and commented on my last post…I’m pretty sure I know what I am gonna do but I’ll just leave you all in suspense a little while longer 😛

winter is long

So yeah, here is that “longer blog post” I referred to in yesterday’s “welcome to my new blog crib” post 🙂  And rumor has it there may be other bloggy peeps looking to make a blog software switcharoo and join me here…ahhh once again, I am a trendsetter 😉

So first off, how about those Jets?  Wasn’t sure how their chances would be yesterday, as I’m sure the Bengals gave them last Sunday’s game just so they could choose their first-round opponent, so to say.  And there was some sloppy playing yesterday, but it all came together in the end.  (And I just also have to mention that Mark Sanchez is good eye candy 😉 )  So they take on San Diego next week…can they repeat the magic?

And now that the new year has started…yeah winter really seems long…everything seems long(er).  Last week was the first 5-day week I worked in awhile and it just killed me 😛  Well not really.  Though of course, the week cannot pass by without incident…well, besides being in an all-day training session for an online reporting tool and feeling so unproductive for one day, there’s a quasi-crisis on one project (thankfully was not my fault, and did not get fingers unfairly pointed at me!) and then I had to save someone else’s ass, who doesn’t follow directions when being told “re-map yourself to the new shared drive and don’t use the old one.”  Friday couldn’t come soon enough…

And on that running thang, I got my new orthotics in and have started breaking ’em in…not sure if they are drastically different from my old ones, but they do feel good and seem to be better made.  And my PT is starting to kick my ass-literally-with squats and lunges…I think I am gonna have a chronically sore butt for the next few weeks 😛

And a topic that I’ve mentioned briefly before, but just feel like raising the question again…what is the etiquette on family members being friends/keeping in touch with ex-boyfriends?  Like do I have any reason to feel bothered by the fact that my ex-boyfriend (who I havent spoken to in forever) is Facebook friends with my brother and I see him posting comments on my brother’s status?  (I give it 2 weeks before he friends both my parents…)  Never the mind that for 2 years after I broke up, my mom still had a picture of the 2 of us in her office…and would probably still have it there today had I not seen it that one time… :-\

The weather is supposed to get into the 30s this week!!  Break out the running shorts…

a devil of a decade

Well first off, this is post #666 for me.  Hence the devil reference in the post title 🙂  No, I’m not saying I’m the devil…hahahaha.

So I’m watching “I Love the New Millennium” on VH1 right now…2000 was previously on, now this hour showcases 2001.  (Update since I started writing-now it’s on 2003!  Boy this post took a long time to write…)  Holy shit-are we really on the edge of a new decade?  Was it really 10 years ago that we were all freaking out about the Y2K bug and thinking the world will come to an end on January 1, 2000? 😛  (funniest memory from that-my dad “stocking up” on 5 gallons of bottled water since apparently the Y2K bug would cause a lack of drinking water…oh the things people believed!)

Man-so much has happened this decade…if I thought 2009 was an emotional rollercoaster of sorts…well the whole decade was like the Great American Scream Machine or something like that 🙂  And since VH1 is looking back…I kinda feel like doing the same.

2000-my biggest memory of this year was breaking up with my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years…which as a lot of you long-time readers know, was someone everyone expected me to marry.  But no matter how great someone may be on paper, if you grow apart and become different people during that time…staying togehter for the sake of others can never result in anything good.  So for the first time in 5 years, I was single and it was really tough…partially because most of my friends were in relationships, but also partially because I was still living at home…

2001-fell in love, only to wind up getting played.  Moved on out of the parentals house and into the city.  9/11.  Seeing how the fallout from that brought out the good in people, but also brought out the bad in other people.  We were in a changed world, no matter how you looked at it.

2002-I think this year was officially the low point of the decade for me.  Still hurting from said 2001 player.  Dealt with some cash flow issues.  A friend of my brother…well, I will not go into detail about what he tried to do to me, but let’s just say as a result of it, my brother terminated that friendship immediately.  Not one, but two roommate changes-and anyone in NYC knows how stressful it is finding a roommate!  Got laid off from my job…but thankfully I did find a new one and was only unemployed for 6 weeks.

2003-anyone else remember the blackout?  the day of my baby brother’s b-day no less…original plan was to head to NJ for a b-day dinner right after work, instead we spent it grabbing beers from some of the 3rd Ave bars and him crashing at my place.  And thanking my lucky stars that I was still living in midtown then instead of uptown…yep, 2 weeks later I had moved into my little studio apartment on the UWS.  Can’t tell you how good it felt to not have to deal with roommates.

2004-the running year, so to say.  Joined NYRR, joined the Flyers, opened up a whole new world for me.  Maybe this year was a turning point of sorts?

2005-learned and appreciated how tough it is to plan social events in NYC, thanks to my stint as Flyers’ social chair 🙂  Was hoping to run my first marathon-NYC-this year, but a month into the training, a bad case of plantar fasciitis stopped me in my tracks, so to say.  And believe me, recovery was a bitch and then some 🙂  And oh yeah…I discovered this little thing called blogging and thought I’d try it 😉

2006-busy year, I remember.  Had a Flyers exec board position-Member at Large.  And let me tell you, it really made me feel good that my teammates felt I was the best one for the job.  What a difference from 10 years before-when I kept getting shot down for positions on my sorority’s exec board…i was too new, i was too shy, whatever, there was some excuse.  Met a lot more people in the running community…partially through this blogging thang 😉 and partially because one of my goals as MAL was to enhance relations between us and other clubs…with “mixer” happy hours, post-race softball games and other things.  Hit the big 3-0 this year…yikes 😛 Work kicked me in the ass this year, partially due to one project from hell, partially because we were down one man and it took over a year to find a replacement!  But despite all that, I did finally run my first marathon…and broke 4 hours 🙂

2007-I think I was mentally in hibernation for a good portion of the first half of the year…yeah, work was still kicking me in the ass.  Just seemed to affect everything…my relationships, my running, as well as other things.   Things did get a little better through the spring and summer though.  Took my first real vacation in a very long time-to San Francisco…ran a half-marathon there and totally fell in love with the city…hmmm, could I maybe see myself living there someday, who knows.  (Or maybe I really needed a vacation and anything would have seemed good!)  Had my first serious relationship in years…which didn’t end on the best of terms.  Learned 2 things-a significant other must respect my friends and if I need my space after said breakup, that needs to be respected too if there is to be any chance at a friendship.

2008-is it me or did this seem like the year of Facebook?  Almost every day, a new friend request, quiz invite and my personal favorite-the “SuperPoke” 😛  Halfway through the year, got a taste of what the state of the economy would be as we were told at work that “2008 is turning into a very tough year” and that certain big events would be canceled in order to make budget, that we’d have to do without some “nice to haves”.  Running-wise, 2008 started off with a calf injury, I recovered from it and it did turn out to be my best running year in 4 years…ran 3:44 in NYCM and got goals in shorter distances that I had been chasing after for years.

2009-And so it brings us to this year.  Early months were kinda rough…close relative (my uncle) passed away…round of layoffs at work which thankfully I dodged that bullet, but me and others wound up absorbing a lot more work as a result…but at that point, just grateful to have a job.  Was vice president of the Flyers this year. The Yankees won their first World Series in 9 years!! Running-wise, was on track to have my best year yet…and it looked like not only was a BQ marathon in reach, but 3:40 was setting the bar too low.  But was stopped in my tracks at mile 21 of the Marine Corps Marathon with the infamous (sh)IT band injury.  As I said before, I am happy for the good running moments, just wish the year hadn’t ended on such a bad note.  Was in 2 serious relationships this year…and I am grateful to still be friends with both of them.  Especially the latter…us getting together did cause me to lose a friend, but I feel I got a much better one as a result.  I never thought I’d be able to just hang out with an ex over a few beers and just enjoy ourselves…but we can and we do…someone I’m very happy to have had in my life this year…and in future years too 😉

So I’m reading over this now and thinking wow…can’t believe how much has happened in 10 years.  Even though I have said 2009 was a rough year, I will say that at the very least, this decade did end better than it started.  And have I learned anything?  Well I guess so…

Work-I felt like i worked away my 20s and don’t want to do the same with my 30s…in my early years I put in the time because I thought it would get me more money, more power…yeah, at the time I did actually like my job…but by the end of the decade I learned that all the money in the world isn’t worth it if you’re not happy, don’t feel fulfilled, don’t feel like there is a good work-life balance.  Oh yeah-and getting involved with someone at work is definitely NOT the best idea!!

Love/relationships-and on that topic…well in the beginning of the decade, with a lot of my friends having the marriage bug, I kinda wanted the same…and I know I’ve felt like that for many years too.  But I’ve been thinking about this for a good part of this year.  First off, as I have mentioned before, I really don’t like dating.  It’s more…I feel like I’m putting on an act of sorts and it just gets exhausting.  I just want to be myself…and that was a sign that my last relationship was gonna have great potential, as I never once felt like I had to act, I could totally be myself.  And I honestly don’t care that people tell me that “dating means free dinner and drinks” or something to that effect.  Seriously, I will gladly pay for my own damn dinner and drinks if it means I’m with a guy I can feel comfortable with and be myself with and enjoy myself with.  And I know I’ve said plenty of times before that I want to get married but…well as James Marsden’s character said to Katherine Heigl’s character in 27 Dresses: “I think you want a wedding-not a marriage.”  I guess now I’m feeling the opposite…like it’s more the companionship I’m seeking out instead of the shiny rings and wedding.  I do have friends who are in permanently committed relationships but havent felt the need to get married…and they are just as happy as those who have “made it official.”  Maybe I’m not making sense here…but this is always a complex topic. 🙂

Well even though there are some things in my life that I do fell still need fixing…as I said before, this decade did end on a much better note than it started on…and I can only hope that will carry over into 2010.  As for tonight…I won’t be running at midnight, I won’t be smooching anybody at midnight, but I will be ringing in the new year with friends…just fun and no drama…all I can ask for.

So…long story short, I’m happy to be leaving this devil of a decade behind and can only hope for bigger and better things in the next year…or next 10 years…or more.

Happy New Year everyone!  Have fun, be safe…and talk to ya “next year”! 🙂

maybe i’m getting too old for this

So since I’m sure everyone was dying to know (ha, not really) yes I did venture out on XMas Eve…guess it beat staying home and watching reruns of Jersey Shore 😛  If you were hoping for any juicy gossip, I’m sorry to disappoint…no running into peeps I knew like the Ex-Boyfriend’s frat brother or anything like that 🙂  So, knowing in advance which venue attracted the “younger” and “older” ends of the spectrum, I decided to go to the one “inbetween.”  Which was actually a good move…not too crowded, DJ playing 80s music, open vodka bar for the first hour.  Only talked to 2 guys that nite…first didn’t seem too into me, got a playa vibe from the second.  I don’t know, I just feel like I’ve really outgrown this scene…unless I know everybody at the shindig (e.g., the Flyer parties…or hell, even NYRR’s club night) I’m not great in this setting…better one on one, methinks.  Plus nursing a killer hangover is not how I wanted to spend my XMas day.  Maybe I just needed one more of these things just to get out of my system, but I think I might skip it next XMas Eve…ask me again in a year though 🙂  But really, who meets the love of their life at one of these “meet markets”…

So besides that, not really much to tell.  Except what was supposed to be a quiet work week did have to be disrupted by crazy person doing his crazy person thing on a project I’m doing for him.  It’s always something with this one!!

choose my xmas eve adventure

Or non-adventure. 🙂

OK, poll in the sidebar.  Need help deciding what to do XMas Eve.  Do I dare make an appearance at the Matzo Ball and drop $25 (plus cost of overpriced drinks) to check out the annual Jewish singles meat market or not?  Last time I made an appearance was 2 years ago…and it was interesting to say the least. 

But seriously, in a way it just seems more pointless than the Kleinerman 10K was for the NYAC womens team (those of you in the local running scene know will know what I mean by that 😛  not meant to be a shot at that team in any way tho!)…do I ever really have any luck at these things?  And do I need blog material that badly?  (ok maybe I do…)

So help me decide please 🙂

"on to the next"

And this latest post title has been brought to you by the latest episode of The Hills.  Is it me, or has this episode finally brought back the show we all hate to love, or love to hate?  How staged was K-Cav and Jayde’s catfight…I know there is only one club in LA and of course they will run into each other, especially when Kristin is with Brody, but still!  And I thought Audrina and Lo would “never be friends”…and now they are BFF’s?  And WHY, for the good of all humankind, could Spencer have just gone through with getting neutered??? 🙂

I guess that title is just appropriate for lots going on lately.  Of course, the running stuff, but I’ll get to that later.  Earlier this week, I had to let go of a wonderful guy who has been very near and dear to me for the last few months-well this was kind of a mutual “letting go.”  (And he has never gotten a blog mention before…well at least not in the context of dating, so you know I was really into him and that it was going well! 😉 )  My heart said “stay” but my head knew what was the right thing to do, if we wanted to salvage any kind of a friendship…which I am optimistic about.  But it’s tough all the same-we really shared a lot…between running and outside of running.  He’d be the first person I’d call/text when something good happened…or even when something bad happened and I needed consoling, or just someone to talk to.  Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t overdependent, but there is that comfort in knowing someone is there.  Luckily, it did end on a good note and we are still speaking and not arguing…so I am hopeful! 🙂  So in this case “on to the next” is not so much the next guy, but more the next phase of our relationship…never know where it can take me/us.  And some of you…and you know who you are 😉 …this does not give you free reign to immediately fix me up with your coworker/cousin/neighbor/random acquaintance/doorman/etc. 😉  Just need time right now…and as Natasha Bedingfield says in her song “Single”-I can’t “romance on demand!”  (On that topic, has anyone ever checked out the lyrics to that song, and then to Natasha’s song “Soulmate”?  Talk about one singer having opposing points of view!  The latter is a beautiful song, but I swear I can’t listen to it without getting teary-eyed!)

And as for the running thing, I swear I really am trying to move “on to the next” as well!  Whatever that may be.  As I said in my previous post-I do have 2 races next year that I am tentatively penciling in as goal races (yes, one is a marathon but it won’t be til the fall though.)  Little hesitant to post what they are now, so wait and see.  I have my follow-up appointment with doctor #1 at the end of this month, so I’ll see if there is any positive progress made.  One thing I do want to explore, which was mentioned before, is new orthotics…my current ones are 5 years old and I wouldn’t be surprised if that was one of the culprits.  Unfortunately, I have different medical insurance now and I don’t believe they will be covered, so it would be pricier this time around…but if it’s something that will save my running future (and my previous ones did!) it’s a worthwhile investment…especially stretched out over a few years.

And keeping with “on to the next”…I’m thinking I might like to switch physical therapists too.  My current one is nice, don’t get me wrong, but…I’m feeling like there should be more progress by now, and I’d love to find one who is more familiar with runners.  I don’t know if I can do that without another prescription for PT from the doctor, but if is indeed what he prescribes, that may be the way to go.  So NYC-area runners-if you have any recommendations for me, I’d be very grateful to hear them!!  Only prerequisite is that they must take insurance 🙂

So there you have it-I am honestly dwelling less on the past and trying to look ahead.  But I do still feel I need a little help getting there…more with game plans than anything else!!