sweets…not so sweet?

So someone in my division is leaving the company, and yesterday we get an email that they are ordering in dessert today to “celebrate” his departure…or something like that. And instead of thinking “yay! sweets!”, i’m thinking “i’m running a 5K tonite. I don’t really want to indulge. Not to mention that i am in the midst of marathon training. How can I refuse eating without seeming rude?”

And it’s not just today, but it is something that has come up in the past and that I had wanted to blog about but for whatever reason, hadn’t. During marathon training…and even when I’m not…I feel like I have to pick and choose my indulgences. And sometimes it’s tough in group situations, like work lunches and birthdays. I’ll occasionally indulge when there is something I really love on the dessert menu, but most of the time I’m happy to just get fruit sorbet (which I do like) and avoid the guilty feeling. But I still get the comments because I don’t share it and I don’t want a taste of what others ordered. Or I get comments that it’s borderline rude to not partake in whatever cake or dessert someone brought in for someone else’s b-day…even when it’s something I’m not crazy about. Why do I get criticized for wanting to take care of myself?

And September is a tough month for this, between the jewish holidays and my b-day and others this month…but it’s not just now, I feel like I struggle with this year-round (e.g., if I’m worried that i can’t fit into my dress for the awards party because I’m not marathon training and therefore “slacking off”), that I can’t afford to treat myself. And that’s when the mental demons come in. “I’m not thin enough. I look so fat next to my skinny teammates, i want this picture taken off the Flyers website. Those people say that I don’t have to worry about what I eat because I run? They don’t know, I don’t have their speedy metabolisms…” and so on.

And isn’t running supposed to be a “healthy” lifestyle of sorts? Who knows. I will admit, I do deal with my body image issues better now than I did 10 or so years ago (i think the fact that I was comfortable enough to do the Underwear Run was a step in that direction), but I don’t think this is something that will ever completely go away…

Moving on-yeah I mentioned a 5K tonite-really only doing for fun and for the post-race party. I’m sorta training through it as I am not tapered. In the 7-day period between last Wednesday and this Tuesday, I ran 54 miles! Needless to say, yesterday was a running rest day. But nevertheless, my only goal is to just not completely embarass myself with my time. And hopefully finish in the top half of the women (small race and I think a lot of the fast local women will be out.) And finish before they run out of post-race beer. (I budgeted this as my “indulgence” for the day πŸ˜› )

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3 thoughts on “sweets…not so sweet?

  1. I hear you on this loud and clear, thank you for bringing this up on your post. I am also marathon training (I stumbled upon your blog through running) and conscious of my weight. And just like you said, people in social situations expect me to be able to partake in whatever food indulgences are on the table "because I run". While simple calorie math would say that unless I run marathons daily, whatever my normal daily run is, it really won't compensate for the two slices of decadent cake plus drinks on top of my daily regular menu. Since asking not to get a plate/glass most of the time deteriorates into an awkward scene, I always take whatever is handed and then "keep working on it" till the rest of the occasion, as I then will postpone the second helping of the same or different treats. And then just leave the plate somewhere. This doesn't work at a restaurant obviously though.

  2. Ugh, trying to excuse yourself for being healthy is the worst – you know I used to deal with that all the time in my old job. As wasteful as it is, I found the easiest thing to do was try to take the smallest serving of something I possibly could… and then not eat it. People didn't really notice whether I ate it or not. Alternately, come up with a reason why you can't have whatever it is, but don't make the reason about being healthy. Saying you just ate and are full was a good one.It's frustrating that we get looked down upon for trying to be healthy, and it's not seen as a valid excuse 😦

  3. Thanks for the comments-it's good to know there are others who feel the same way and I'm not crazy or overreacting!!

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