i should be so lucky

ah, dating…always the controversial topic, isn’t it?

this post on Derek’s blog has turned into quite the heated debate. unfortunately, not the kind of thing I want to be reading to boost my ego-that in exactly 2 months, I will be considered “undesirable” by men!!

but this post by a commenter brings up a very good point that i think i have mentioned before…luck is a major player in the equation.

here’s a perfect example of that.

a couple of Flyers have just recently gotten engaged. the girl met the guy within hours of her joining the Flyers. they’ve been inseparable ever since. (and i am happy for them, they do make a very nice couple.)

on the other hand, I’ve been a member for over 2 years, with no luck in finding my Mr. Right. and believe me (and i’m sure others can vouch for that)…it’s not due to lack of trying πŸ˜‰

so…based on this scenario…does this make the other girl that much of a better person than me…that she accomplished within 2 hours what i haven’t accomplished in 2 years-or does it make her very, very lucky? i would think it would be the latter…correct?

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16 thoughts on “i should be so lucky

  1. There is no “accomplishment” in meeting someone. It’s a fluke of luck and circumstance.Making it work in the long term is another story, but let’s not oversimplify it — just as it’s hard to say what one thing makes a relationship end, no one knows what single thing makes it work!

  2. In what can only be considered ironic timing, I read this blog post on Gothamist stating NYC is the #1 place to live for singles a couple of minutes after reading your post.I’m starting to think I should create a dating web site for single runners. Sadly, it’s sounding like a booming market.

  3. Lara, its all about being in the right place at the right time. I don’t think that I would have met Rob if I did not go with Becky to the bar and if I did not agree to stop by and say hi to Rob’s cousin.I think you need to stop thinking about it and you will meet someone…Just focus on your friends and running for now and the more you socialize the better your odds.

  4. Please don’t stress yourself over this issue – it only makes it worse. It’s partially true – the 30’s are hard. Generally speaking, you are feeling the need to get married and have kids before it’s too late, and guys can sense it and they head in the opposite direction. You will see them with the 20’s or the 40’s. Why? Because they can tell the 20’s it’s ridiculous for them to be thinking of marriage and children, and the 40’s (mostly) just don’t give a sh*t. Once you’re 40, you’ve let those ideas go – it’s too late for one thing, and you are actually starting to relax about life and enjoy it – you realize you don’t need a man and you don’t need kids to make you happy (they won’t anyway – you must find that within). You’ve got good friends, you’re finally making enough money to have a nice place and cool vacations, and things are great. The problem is, once you reach this zenlike place, men start to find you fascinating. The trick is to make sure you get one that meets your needs…don’t compensate for his deficiencies, and don’t overlook them. My biggest mistake! Of course, this is just my take, everyone will have their own experience to guide them.

  5. I’m waiting for the dating site for runners/athletes that lets you match by training regime. hehehe :-)”8:30/mi LR seeks sub-7 LT. Must enjoy talking about nutrition, stretching, and cross-training. Let’s lace up our shoes and find the zone. Your PR gets mine.”

  6. luck honey, pure luck. i am happy for that couple. if you manage to keepsmiling and running, luck shall bring you your man :-)c.

  7. NYFG – I’ll send all my good looking, single, straight guy friends your way…

  8. (i’ve been trying to comment all day but the server has been flukey. damn blogger!)thanks for the comments and an fyi-my intention in writing this post was not to invoke(?) a pity party-but primarily to prove a point-and to disprove a different one…(and to use another song title as a post title…)

  9. I’d like to leave a comment…but I really can’t right now.Are you running the Mets thing Saturday?

  10. that’s ok, i think nothing more really needs to be said :)as for the Mutts 5K-check my latest post πŸ˜‰

  11. Ahhh, as I said Flygirl you will always be very desireable to me!! I think you’re misreading my post, I said mid-30s, not “30.”Honestly, if I had to pick the perfect age for a woman to date right now it would be roughly 29 to 31 … not that I haven’t or wouldn’t gone much higher or lower.

  12. true, true, but you did originally say “the cool attractive single girls get ‘snapped up’ in their 20s…”but why does there have to be such a numbers game anyway? i truly don’t think that way about you guys. i have dated guys who are as much as 10 years my senior…and if it doesn’t work out, it’s usually compatibility, not because “oh he’s xx age, there’s something wrong with him!”if you wonder why the divorce rate is so high these days, it’s probably because women want to escape men who think the way you do about women in their 30s…i’ll be honest, i have had extremely rotten dating luck ever since breaking up with the Ex-so we’re going on almost 6 years here. as i said before, if this means i will still be single throughout my 30s, does this mean there is something wrong with me, or does it mean that the stars are just not aligned in my favor-which is something i really can’t control?

  13. I think maybe I was just making a point about my own insecurities and issues about getting older? It was also to convince myself that I should start to think about to settling down, rather than just doing a lot of dating.Of course once you know someone you’re going to try to make judgments about him or her as a person, not generalizations based on their age.The divorce rate isn’t that high these days, it’s actually plummeting, esp. among college-educated people.I don’t really think that stars get aligned in someone’s favor or not. Of course chance plays a factor, but I’m not a big believer in jinxes.I guess here is my point … take the nyc pool of normal, desireable people who want to settle down. Maybe the lucky ones have found their soulmate by 28, the average-ly lucky by 30, the unlucky are still looking at 33, the really unlucky are still single at 35, and the ones with really terrible luck still haven’t found anyone by 38. So the dating market thins out, but that doesn’t mean that someone is undesireable just because they are 35 and never-been-married. But what it does mean is that if your strategy is to find someone you could marry … maybe past a certain age if you keep searching and searching and bouncing from relationship to relationship you are actually diminishing your chances of finding a quality marriage partner.Does that make any sense?

  14. i understood what you were trying to do-but i also felt that in the process, it was a little bit of a slap in the face, writing off single women in their 30s as being “dregs.” when you don’t even know the backstories of why they are single…w/r to the divorce rate, yep, i saw that commented as well, but i also remember you saying once that in this day and age, divorce is pretty much “acceptable.”well now don’t you understand more where i’m coming from-why i prefer to do less “casual” dating and try more to seek out relationships? it ain’t fun, is it? πŸ˜‰

  15. Ha ha, no I really have a lot of fun dating, even if I’m worried I’m going to soon be considered a dreg myself. And sure eventually I want to be in a relationship too, I just don’t want to jump right into one. Would rather take my time and get to know someone before offering any type of commitment. However different strokes for different folks and whatever works for you.I do agree with everything that anonymous wrote in the comment below Melissa’s, tho.

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