marathon jitters

if the “eFlash” emails I receive from NYRR weren’t enough, I got hardcopy reminder in the mail yesterday…the deadline to apply for guaranteed entry to the ’06 NYC marathon is approaching fast. I said originally, “oh yeah, I’ll wait to see how I do in Queens first…”

I don’t know why I am so apprehensive about this. I mean, I do want to do this, the one piece of unfinished business in my running life. Then there’s the part of me that’s afraid of deja vu from last year. And the part of me that feels like I wouldn’t have the support I may have had 1 or 2 years ago. Mainly from my family, I guess.

The comments I got when I had to throw in the towel for ’05:
“You didn’t really think you could run 26 miles, did you?”
(ummm…maybe at that time i couldn’t, but would have been nice if you thought that with the proper training, I could have done it.)

Or now:
“Are you gonna try for the marathon again, or have you pretty much given up?”
(why do you consider giving up even an option? because I wussed out last year?)

And the family seems more excited and supportive about my cousin running a 10k than anything I do. I know in the grand scheme of things, my times I’m running now aren’t all that bad, but I can’t deny it hurts a little that once the PR’s, the faster times and the hardware went away, so did the cheers and support. And it’d be hard to make it through marathon training without that.

I dunno. Got 2 more weeks to make a decision.

On the topic of marathons, I spent a better part of Monday tracking my teammates that were running the Boston Marathon. I thought I’d feel nothing but envy for those who did have the honor of running…as they are in a completely different class of runner that I am, the class that I’d love to be someday…but surprisingly not. With every 5K mat that they stepped over, I felt myself as wrapped up in their races as they were. 3 of our speedy guys had very strong first halfs (2 on pace for sub-3!) and to see their races slip away in the second half…it completely broke my heart to see. (especially one of them that was putting in 100-mile weeks, 27-mile long runs…I so wanted him to get the race he wanted and truly deserved.) I was sending cheering and healing vibes from afar, hoping that somehow, they’d feel it and having that support could inspire them to pick it up a little and finish strong. A couple of my other teammates did PR, which I was glad to see (especially one who was injured early last year and kinda went through the same struggles that I’m experiencing, trying to get back to where she used to be.)

What did we ever do before the tracking feature was introduced for these big marathons? It’s a neat feature that really does make you feel like you’re part of the day, no matter how far away you may be.

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14 thoughts on “marathon jitters

  1. You’re more than ready for NYC. Just remember to add the miles gradually, and your goal for your first marathon is just to finish.When I did my first marathon (NYC’03) my longest run on this date was a 10K, and I tackled my first 15K on May 11th. You are so much better trained at this point than I was.If I’d listened to anything my family said, I sure as hell wouldn’t be where I am today. Sad that we always look to them for approval, when we should only need to look to ourselves.

  2. It’s tough, but don’t let your family get you down. Listen to your own body and know that no matter what you decide, it was not only the best decision you could make at the time, but one that only YOU could make. Especially if they’re not runners themselves :-)And I hear ya on Boston — I was so busy tracking friends that I was completely unproductive!

  3. If you run in the marathon then I’m sure you will have PLENTY of support both from people you’d expect and people you wouldn’t expect. And I’ll certainly cheer for you!

  4. maybe it’s not necessarily “approval” i was seeking…but something else. can’t quite put my finger on what exactly it is.right at this moment, i think my “to marathon or not to marathon?” debate is more nerves than anything else.but phil’s right about one thing, i do have more support now than i may have had 1-2 years ago…that does help…

  5. Most of my family and friends were the same way before my first marathon. They were supportive enough to show up, but I got lots of “Well, gee, how disappointed will you be if you don’t finish?” and the like.As much as having the family’s support would help, just remember you’re not without any support. If I’ve noticed one thing about the running bloggers, we’re always there to pick each other up when needed.

  6. we may have crossed comments, jay-i think the end of my last comment speaks directly to what you’re saying at the end of yours πŸ™‚

  7. As said above, we’re all here as support come marathon day…and heck any day!Coming from a family of runners has made it a heckuva lot easier for me. However, non-runners just don’t get it…judging from what you are telling us about your training it sounds like a marathon is very plausible. Now go out there and show them that YES YOU CAN.

  8. Fuck ’em. You have my support. Enter; come out and run with me – until you leave me in the dust, that is. πŸ™‚

  9. As others say – You will have all the support you need to run NYC. The Flyers will support you, we’ll be with you all the way, and as an added incentive, I’ll be in town the weekend after the Race, so we can celebrate in style as well, and you can tell me every inch of the run.

  10. I HEAR YA ALL!! :-)really I do. :-)I really think it is more nerves at this point than anythng else. (afraid of deja vu of last year-since i felt ready back then!)

  11. what on earth are you talking about Flygirl????? Of course you’re going to run the marathon. I see you crushing the 3:53 I did last year.

  12. Lara, believe me you are in shape for the marathon. I am usually a lazy lump in the winter and last year my first race was the Mother’s Day Half after taking off five months (not from injury but from being afraid of the cold!) And my longest run was only 9 1/2 miles before the race. I managed to do fine in the marathon.You are in better shape now than I was this time of year.By the way, I am out there again so if you want to run let me know! I would keep you company on a long one!

  13. Forget about nerves!…you’ll be running with all of us. What more fun can you have? And just think of the fun you’ll have choosing a cute running skirt and deciding on delicious gel flavors πŸ™‚

  14. Hey! Just searching for people training for marathons. It sounds like you will do just fine at the nyc marathon. Of course you can do 26 miles with the right training. You know you can. You’ve got the determination, and you’re family really doesn’t need to have anything to do with it. I understand they are you’re support, but I’m sure you can pick out a friend of yours who supports and believes in you. Personally, I have family (my father) who doesn’t think I will complete a marathon in July. He sort of has the right to think this because I have never done ONE marathon in my life and don’t run very often. I work out a lot though at the gym-and I have the determination. I know this is something I can do, and I’m sure if I can do it, you can do it!Good luck! and check out my blogs too if you’re bored cuz I’m sure I’ll need the extra support too. πŸ™‚

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